This one is from my friend Drew.
Flocks of Never
By Drew Blanchard December 8, 2008
We had to throw things away to sell our house, make it seem like we lived sparingly—a minimalist life. As if anyone lives with only one blue shirt in the closet, one pair of shoes illuminated by a single light bulb swinging— 40 watts and a string to pull, frayed twine and a soundless plastic bell, to turn it on, to turn it off.
For years, I watched ivy spread over my neighbor’s house. Each year the leaves turned from green to red to gone. When the leaves fell, flocks of never migrating starlings ate the purple berries, tugged off the stems.
For years, from my kitchen window, I watched Siberian snow geese winter along the Columbia river. Each day they’d rise like heavy rain clouds blown by wind— white plumage like morning sky, black wings like shadows, like rain. Sometimes, so early, the sky still the color of ashy smoke, thousands of geese would disappear into a whorl of sudden snow. In these moments, I’d imagine, though I never saw anything like it, the spray of twelve gauge buckshot entering the body of a goose in mid-air, and its mate, its mate for life, would honk, drop down, honk, follow the limp body to the ground. And because this is a love story, the falling goose, the following goose, the strange replaying of this scene, the replaying of something that did not happen, never disturbed me, the way it does now, as I stand in my new house, in my new closet with no string to pull. Instead a switch, like all the other modern rooms, easier I suppose, to turn the light on, to turn it off. And strangely, with no geese at my new kitchen window, I have traded scenes: the repeated falling goose for the last moment in my old closet. Standing in the dark, even my blue shirt gone, I pull the string a final time. I turn the light on to dust in the corner, turn it off to the empty dark, thinking, how the severity of nothing can fill up a room. And because I cannot resist I turn it on and turn it off again and again, like I did when I was five, maybe four, when the simplicity of light and dark was enough to stay an afternoon.
_________________ Trying not to fuck shit up, since 1969
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