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PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 1:54 pm 
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Hawleytastic!
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loftyeric2 wrote:
why does the phone always ring when one is on the bog? :evil:


Nice pet name you have for your other half :geek:


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 11:28 pm 
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Hawleytastic!
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getting back to the shitting your pants, i've remembered another. i was in the scouts (legalised bullying) when i was about 11, on a trip to sleights near whitby. we went on a walk and as per usual i needed a dump. a dock leaf is not a suitable substitute for bog roll so cue itchy sherrifs badge.

my luck was really out that day as i got stung by a wasp, electrocuted on a cattle fence and when i went to a farm to get running repairs, the bastard sheepdog and geese chased me off the farm.

went to the munich beer festival. got pissed in the beer tents then the three of us went to a bar. we we're coppering up at the bar while one of the lads went for a piss. didn't realise it was an 'escort' bar where you had to pay for the girls. 'coppering up' did not go down well and we got launched into the middle of the road by the bouncers. the other lad is still in the bog so we do what all good mates do and fuck off and leave him on his own.

back at the camp site, i climb into his sleeping bag as it's better than mine. i get woke up at 5 in the morning. the mate who we left has made it back via getting lost in munich zoo, shitting his pants and walking all the way back. he is not in a good mood. this situation is not improved when he climbs into his sleeping bag to find i've pissed in it.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 8:23 am 
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Hawleytastic!
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mph wrote:
getting back to the shitting your pants, i've remembered another. i was in the scouts (legalised bullying) when i was about 11, on a trip to sleights near whitby. we went on a walk and as per usual i needed a dump. a dock leaf is not a suitable substitute for bog roll so cue itchy sherrifs badge.

my luck was really out that day as i got stung by a wasp, electrocuted on a cattle fence and when i went to a farm to get running repairs, the bastard sheepdog and geese chased me off the farm.

went to the munich beer festival. got pissed in the beer tents then the three of us went to a bar. we we're coppering up at the bar while one of the lads went for a piss. didn't realise it was an 'escort' bar where you had to pay for the girls. 'coppering up' did not go down well and we got launched into the middle of the road by the bouncers. the other lad is still in the bog so we do what all good mates do and fuck off and leave him on his own.

back at the camp site, i climb into his sleeping bag as it's better than mine. i get woke up at 5 in the morning. the mate who we left has made it back via getting lost in munich zoo, shitting his pants and walking all the way back. he is not in a good mood. this situation is not improved when he climbs into his sleeping bag to find i've pissed in it.










:puker: :*:


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 7:12 pm 
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Hawleytastic!
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:D That would be a good script for 'Last Of The Summer Wine'


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 7:25 pm 
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Too much time on my hands
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Is this thread going to run and run?


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 11:03 pm 
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Hawleytastic!
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yes. wish i could shit myself at the moment. haven't been for about a week. feel like i'm going to explode soon a la mr creosote.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 11:14 pm 
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Drink lots of tea. No milk, just lots of tea, and fresh fruit. That should shift it.


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 12:38 am 
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Hawleytastic!
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i tell you, nothing works. i'm calling dynarod.

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 2:42 am 
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Baked beans, lager & prunes :wink:

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 9:50 am 
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Hawleytastic!
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Robinsons Best Bitter + Beef Madras


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 10:03 am 
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Hawleytastic!
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Poppy Dog wrote:
Robinsons Best Bitter + Beef Madras


I thought that was the prescribed treatment for overdue pregnant ladies?

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Woke this morning and I got myself a beer ............


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 10:53 am 
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Longpigsdad wrote:
Poppy Dog wrote:
Robinsons Best Bitter + Beef Madras


I thought that was the prescribed treatment for overdue pregnant ladies?


Its a universal panacea, works for most ailments & conditions.

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 11:30 am 
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mph eat a packet of sugar free mints - or Mento's chewing gum. I defy anyone not to go after that :mrgreen:


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 11:36 am 
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Secretly Canadian
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Red lentil curry will have you shitting like a cat in a tennis racket factory.

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 11:43 am 
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Geordie Admin Dominatrix
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Craig you have an almost unhealthy interest in lentils of various colours. What do you do with them?


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