Richard Hawley wrote:
Funny thing is I haven't been ill for years but yeah the cigs have to go but I also have to be sober to do it.....aaaargh
*clears throat*
Um.
I wasn't gonna say a thing, unless you ever brought this up first. And you did. Mistake.
Now before you kick me off here for my insolence, because I understand that this none of my business, please note: I'm NOT JUDGING YOU. I was a smoker too. I understand the stress relief it brings, the social aspects of it, how perfectly it marries with a drink, how weird it feels to drink without smoking. How it kind of helps you think and concentrate, because it gives your hands and body a focus so that it clears your mind. And how it can be something of a security blanket that protects against being uncomfortable when you're in a crowd of people. And how it can keep weight off. And how it's kind of a prop that has become a part of your persona. And how it is so good for replacing other vices. And how just the sight of someone smoking (in person! on TV! in a movie!), or the mere smell of it, are Pavlovian triggers. Wow, it sounds great, doesn't it! Mmm, delicious smoky treats! Can I bum one?
I get it.
Over the years you have probably heard everything everybody has to say about smoking, quitting, methods, health/financial/miscellaneous benefits, and then some. You have probably sat under heavy preaching and unsolicited advice from all and sundry. So I'm going to skip all that.
No idea how much you smoke or when you started, or how many times you've tried to quit, or how long you've been able to go without when you do try. No idea what methods you may have employed. But you have to try again, and keep trying until it sticks. It's possible you may not be able to quit cold turkey, maybe you'll need to do it gradually. You might need some extra nicotine help. Don't be too proud to admit that. You may not even be able to quit entirely. But let's say your smoking is on a 10; even if you to get it down to a 2, that's still immensely helpful. Even if you never get it down to zero.
Good sir, you write all the time about the people you love, the places you love, about hope, about second chances. Those things are real. Nothing else is. Everything else is bullshit. So stay here for those things! Don't leave. Don't cheat yourself, don't cheat your loved ones. Smoking is a thief. Cancer is a thief. Do not let it rob you, stay here and live instead. We've all lost people to this, and one more is just too many.
That's all I got, man. I will cheerlead for you till the cows come home, you've got a mountain of people behind you, and if there's anybody in the world who can do it, it's you. Look at all the shit you've already been through. Think about it, think about what a survivor you are. Man, fuck smoking! This is doable. This is something you can get on top of. You can do this--so do it! SHUT. IT. DOWN. Now. For good.
Apologies. I've got a mouth on me. This is widely known. But it was just too important for me to stay quiet.
*hides*