Richard Hawley

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 11:37 am 
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Hawleytastic!

Joined: Tue Jan 26, 2010 10:56 am
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Location: London
Ah, Egg, that would be me that you want to punch in the face! Don’t have a caravan but have a 20-year-old German camper that doesn’t do much more than 50mph. When I’m driving, I often get queues of home counties road ragers behind me, flashing their lights and brandishing their fists, in their air conditioned BMWs, probably listening to Mumford & Sons. And my boys say: “Mum, the drivers behind are getting angry” and I say: “I know boys but they’re just angry with themselves for being so dull.” And we pootle on our merry way, pulling in when it is safe and convenient to me, to let the hoards of angry people going nowhere too fast pass us by. We are off doing it again at the weekend so stay indoors!! x


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 12:15 pm 
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Hawleytastic!
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Campers you can get past, it's when it's a 25 foot caravan being pulled by a 1980's Chelsea Tractor! :roll:
Hope you have a fab time. Enjoy. <*>


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 10:01 pm 
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Whoever started the Keep Calm merchandise shite!! ...........................
..............Then I'd rob their money :-)


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 10:19 pm 
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Hawleytastic!
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yorkshirelass wrote:
Whoever started the Keep Calm merchandise shite!! ...........................
..............Then I'd rob their money :-)


You qualify for direct entry to next years Apprentice - my kind of 5 second business plan!


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 3:53 am 
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Is it just from today that I can choose a face to punch? I have a whole catalogue going back years :twisted:

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 27, 2013 1:21 pm 
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Too much time on my hands
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yorkshirelass wrote:
Whoever started the Keep Calm merchandise shite!! ...........................
..............Then I'd rob their money :-)


Hated this for years. So unfunny, ubiquitous and undermines wartime spirit IMHO!

(Please don't punch my face for using IMHO...) :wink:

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 05, 2013 1:54 am 
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The neighbour who allowed their dog to shit in front of my garage door. Didn't see the act, only the evidence & then only after I'd stepped in it and unwittingly traipsed it round the garage floor & up the leg of my jeans :puker: I know it's them though. Private land on which I've never seen a turd in 32 years. Then suddenly Rover moves in at the end of the yard & splat (on further inspection) shit everywhere :evil:

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 05, 2013 8:46 am 
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loftyeric2 wrote:
The neighbour who allowed their dog to shit in front of my garage door.


It was a game years ago - put a dog turd in an empty brown paper bag - place it on enemies doorstep - set fire - knock door - run like fuck - I'm sure it was an item on Blue Peter circa 64....

You could only do it once - after stamping out the fire and getting their feet covered in warm melting stinking shit - you are a bit wary afterwards...

Also have a vivid memory of my Dad - picking up a dog turd dropped outside our house - on a little bronze spade - remember those fire hearth cleaning kits that came with coal scuttles....anyway...

Followed bloke to house - man and dog went in - Dad knocked door a few seconds later - said 'you left something behind when walking your'e dog' - dropped turd on front step - waited for reaction - the guy just shut the door - and never walked his dog past our house again....plenty of others did tho' - dropping turds - early 70s was a good time to start a turd collection.

Nowadays we are all armed with our scented bags and pick the shit up ..>


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 05, 2013 8:54 am 
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Hawleytastic!
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Poppy Dog wrote:
loftyeric2 wrote:
The neighbour who allowed their dog to shit in front of my garage door.


It was a game years ago - put a dog turd in an empty brown paper bag - place it on enemies doorstep - set fire - knock door - run like fuck - I'm sure it was an item on Blue Peter circa 64....

You could only do it once - after stamping out the fire and getting their feet covered in warm melting stinking shit - you are a bit wary afterwards...

Also have a vivid memory of my Dad - picking up a dog turd dropped outside our house - on a little bronze spade - remember those fire hearth cleaning kits that came with coal scuttles....anyway...

Followed bloke to house - man and dog went in - Dad knocked door a few seconds later - said 'you left something behind when walking your'e dog' - dropped turd on front step - waited for reaction - the guy just shut the door - and never walked his dog past our house again....plenty of others did tho' - dropping turds - early 70s was a good time to start a turd collection.

Nowadays we are all armed with our scented bags and pick the shit up ..>

This is PD on the HF reporting for Shit News! :wink:


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 05, 2013 10:47 am 
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All this talk about old turds and no mention of white poo. This place really has gone to the dogs...

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 05, 2013 12:35 pm 
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I need a life
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Craig wrote:
All this talk about old turds and no mention of white poo. This place really has gone to the dogs...



Apparently it was all down to the coke dogs used to do back then.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 12:05 am 
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Perhaps they could put some sort of fluorescent substance in pet food, so that we could avoid turds whilst walking in the dark.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 9:22 am 
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Or some kind of toxic substance in the food of those who just let their dogs shit where they want. That would solve the problem too.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 1:48 am 
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Yeah, I'd go with that one :twisted:

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2013 4:25 pm 
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Anyway, back to the original subject.

How about Amanda Holden?


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