Richard Hawley

Marie and YouandI - really sorry to hear about your parents.

The frailty of a parent is a horrible defining moment in our lives. Fully agree with Longpigsdad that we should show our appreciation when our parents are still with us. We are lucky to still have my Dad in Law aged 91 and as fit as a fiddle. My Dad passed away five years ago; my Mum is 82 and has been very poorly for a long time with a variety of mental and physical illnesses. She suffers from severe psychosis, anxiety and depression, is blind, has recovered from bowel cancer in the past five years along with many other ailments. Having been in a (wonderful) psychiatric hospital for six months without responding to her usual treatment, she has now been diagnosed with a brain tumour and we have the heartbreaking task of finding a nursing home for her. We cannot complain about the treatment she has received from the NHS. She has always been treated with dignity and compassion and her age has never seemed to preclude her from being treated. She never complains, always thanks us for visiting her and frequently tells us she is lucky to have such good 'kids' - I try to think twice before I moan .... When, in the past, I've commented that it's so unfair that she as had so much to bear, she has just said "well, why not me" The only thing that makes her smile at the moment is our daft old Labrador, also blind and deaf .... She jokes that he could be her guide dog!

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Always be a first rate version of yourself, instead of a second rate version of somebody else (Judy Garland)

Oh Jan, she sounds like a lovely, lovely lady with such spirit. It's so sad - you just don't want your beloveds to be going through that awfulness. Sending you and your mum lots and lots of love xx

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people will forget what you said, forget what you did, but they will never forget the way you made them feel

Same here Jan xx

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The heartbeat doesn't change, only the faces surrounding it.

Heaven help me, I am now trying to interpret a knitting pattern for my Mum, who says they don't write them like they used to

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The heartbeat doesn't change, only the faces surrounding it.

NO! They don't, my nan taught me to knit along with my cousins. I loved it. All the patterns were from 1940, 50s. When i had my own children, i wanted to be a proper mum, like my nan, and knit something. Didnt understand the pattern, thought id gone barmy. So my girls had 1950s cardigans and pram suits. They were too young to moan. Your mum is right, they do button holes all wrong. shouldnt mess with things that were perfectly alright.

My mum once knitted a pair of trunks for my brother, which sagged and drooped when wet, exposing his big freckly arse. I think that's why he turned into such an emotionally stunted adult. The orange trunks did it. I think she thought the colour would match his ginger barnet. That and growing up in a house with three sisters...x

Oh Jan I'm so sorry to read about your lovely mum xx

Poor bugger - two were enough for me

Nice! My nan went for a sort of illuminous green for my brothers trunks. He had bright ginger hair and skin so white it was almost blue. The sea at Seasalter on Sheppy didnt help. I had an orange and white number. Baggy trunks with elasticated waist and a bib thing sewn on. We looked incredible. Luckily there are lots of photos to humiliate us forever. It explains a great deal.

My lovely mum-in-law has passed away and we are all heartbroken

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people will forget what you said, forget what you did, but they will never forget the way you made them feel

Oh Marie I am so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family. xx

Sad news Marie. Our thoughts are with you.

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Woke this morning and I got myself a beer ............

So sorry to hear this Marie x

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The heartbeat doesn't change, only the faces surrounding it.

So sorry Marie. Big love to you and your family. xxx

So sorry Marie. x