Please add my condolences to the list Steve. Your opening words were lovely and would make any mum proud. Your last post was, as ever balanced and sensible, despite your sadness. Love and hugs x

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Always be a first rate version of yourself, instead of a second rate version of somebody else (Judy Garland)

So sorry love . You sound at peace and said such simple but beautiful words XXX

Eight months on from my Mum's funeral I have recently got around to putting a collection of things e.g. newspaper announcements, funeral service cards, photos of floral tributes etc connected to her death/funeral into a folder as a keepsake.

I also included the "with Sympathy" cards we received and a paper copy of the "messages" received via the interent including the ones on this Forum.

I left the folder with my old Dad last week and when I saw him yesterday he told me he had read through the all the messages. He added "People are very kind and have written some lovely words - they brought a tear to my eye".

Just thought I'd share that with you.

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Woke this morning and I got myself a beer ............

http://www.frameworkdoncaster.co.uk

http://www.facebook.com/weddingphotographerdoncaster

Glad you did Steve.
I re-read the whole thread after reading this post...........and couldn't hold back a little weep.

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I'd rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by faith.

Having cared for my Mum for over 2 years or so my Dad was so strong during her last horrific 4 months when he struggled so valiantly to care for her before it all got too much and she went in to care/hospital. His strength held out right up until just after her funeral and then he fell ill, exhausted and depressed (as you might expect). It was a grim time.
Within a month or so - with some family support - he has turned things around and although lonely at night he has filled his life with projects like clearing out the house/attic and decorating his bungalow. More importantly he and I meet regularly for lunch - we are trying out the pub/restaurants around Derbyshire! - and we have talked more in the last 8 months than probably the past 30 years.
Things have improved considerably and even if our loss is still raw, the kind words of people - especially on this Forum - are incredibly heart-warming.
LPD

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Woke this morning and I got myself a beer ............

http://www.frameworkdoncaster.co.uk

http://www.facebook.com/weddingphotographerdoncaster

I know what you are saying LPD. When my mum had her stroke, I was at work, sixty miles away from them. My phone rang and I saw their number and I knew it must be bad news – they'd never do a new-fangled thing like phone a mobile! When I answered, my dad was just sobbing, a horrible thing because no matter how old they are, they're always your daddy and you always think they'll be big and strong and cope with everything. I'm so grateful that, forever how long it lasts, my dad has my mum back for a while because, although we have all got to go, I wouldn't have wanted that for him.
Your dad should be proud of himself for pulling himself round – I didn't know your mum but I'm sure she wouldn't have wanted him to be miserable, I know my mum wouldn't have wanted my dad to spend his life hurting.
I think this is all part of the scheme of life – I'm the youngest of four and, at 45, have gone from being the baby to being the grown up and it's so hard.
I was really moved when you posted about your mum and to know that your dad has taken heart from what people have said is lovely. I have two sons and I would be proud if their attitude was as beautiful as yours when the time comes for them. Much love. xx

Sadly my Mother-in-Law never really got over the loss of her Husband, he had dementia and she struggled to look after him at home. He went into temporary respite in a care home so she could have a short family visit, but he never went home again as he ended up in hospital with his condition much worse. I think she felt guilty over that. She was still great with her close family but gradually cut herself off from her friends.

She died in April and when her ashes were interred at the local cemetery at the precise moment her ashes were put along side her Husband's there was a loud cheer, from the Cricket Club as their ground is next to the cemetary. It was almost as if she was glad to be reunited with him, a very strange moment when we didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

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Love is so hard to find
And even harder to define

Lots of love to you and your dear dad LPD - sounds like you are really supporting each other through this sad time and gaining strength from each other. Oh and aren't there some lovely people on this forum! x

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people will forget what you said, forget what you did, but they will never forget the way you made them feel

There certainly are some lovely people on the Forum Marie. Even when there are heated discussions on politics/music etc when it comes down to the things that really matter - people and family - there is always a "pulling together" and a lot of love on here. x

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Woke this morning and I got myself a beer ............

http://www.frameworkdoncaster.co.uk

http://www.facebook.com/weddingphotographerdoncaster

True.

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And if one day we have to part for just a little while
I leave with you my very heart to keep for me each lonely mile.