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PostPosted: Fri Jul 16, 2010 4:38 pm 
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Alan said :
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Anti-depressants dont 'make it all go away' though, nor are they 'happy pills. They pretty much put a cap on your emotions,both upwards and downwards, which in itself is not a very pleasant phase, but it's meant to be transitory. They put your body in a position whereby you can begin to manage your moods. It sounds ridiculous unless you'vebeen there but I would go in to work and end up almost crying over nothing.Literally nothing. Out of the blue. The tablets didn't cure me, but they helped me get out of bed in the morning and make it to counselling, which was what really made the difference. i haven't cried in almost two years now, and haven't looked back since.


I saw this thread last week and was going to post but didn't have the time to do this justice; I tried looking for it again at the weekend but couldn't find it and have just stumbled across it again.
It's amazing to see how many of you have experienced this condition; I'm one of the lucky ones who has never really succumbed to the Black Dog but my partner of 20 years has suffered intermittently from severe depressive episodes since he was 16 - he is now 44. He too suffers very physical symptoms and this is one of the things we now recognise early on. He's had a number of different treatments over the years... at 16 he was referred to the Tavistock Clinic in London which is quite well respected, where he had therapy, group and one to one, he's been diagnosed as bi-polar (not correct) and prescribed lithium, he's taken Stellazine and Prozac , none of which helped much. When he was 21 he had another breakdown which took him about 3 years to recover from - he couldn't work at all during this period. I met up with him again when we were 25 (we'd been at school together and I knew about the episode at 16) and things started looking up; he got a job, we bought a house and he was OK for 7 years.. in fact, he used to refer to the earlier episodes as " when I was mad..." he thought it was all behind him... WRONG ! a year after our daughter was born he had a major breakdown, resulting in loss of job, more treatment, different drugs , CBT and even psychotherapy (which was on the NHS, just shows you how bad he was to get that !) I can't even remember what medication he was on then, its all a bit of a blur. Again he recovered, but after being made redundant 5 years ago it happened again... we were living in Essex this time and he was referred to a crisis intervention team who were really good. This time he appears to have been prescribed the right medication for him, Efexor, which has proved the most effective. Some people do come out of their depression without medication, but for him it actually stops the major dips - but like Alan says, they do put a cap on your emotions and he said to me that he feels he doesn't FEEL things like before. Its had a major effect on our life - periods of unemployment and gaps in the CV which we've managed to gloss over but he's a highly intelligent bloke now working for £5 an hour in a factory . Its been very tough, watching him go through this and also the effect its had on us as a family.
Its amazing though, how many people have similar experiences but we all keep it bottled up - like I said, I haven't experienced it myself but have lived with it for almost half my life. A very misunderstood condition, especially for men...


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 16, 2010 5:46 pm 
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Ladyblue

I absolutely agree with you. Lots of mental health issues are misunderstood and there is so much stigma attached to it too.

My daughter works for the mental health charity Rethink and they encounter so many people who have been discriminated against because of their mental health problems.

Apparently statistics show that 1 in 4 of us will suffer some form mental illness at some point in our lives. We are all so ashamed of it we don't talk about it. That's why it is so refreshing to read all the posts on this thread.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 4:35 pm 
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My daughter works for the mental health charity Rethink and they encounter so many people who have been discriminated against because of their mental health problems.


Thanks Jane , I know Rethink, i've come across their support workers once or twice (I work in adult social care but mainly the over 65's)

I read once that prospective employers are more like to give a job to an ex prisoner than someone with mental health issues !! thats not to say I don't agree with giving ex-cons a job, everyone derserves a chance, but it just highlights how attitudes don't really seem to have changed, despite nearly all of us having some experience, either directly or indirectly , of these issues. My other half has had to re-jig his CV to cover the gaps - he hasn't lied as such, just bent the truth a little, otherwise he'd never get work !!


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 6:55 pm 
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ladyblue wrote:

I read once that prospective employers are more like to give a job to an ex prisoner than someone with mental health issues !! thats not to say I don't agree with giving ex-cons a job, everyone derserves a chance, but it just highlights how attitudes don't really seem to have changed, despite nearly all of us having some experience, either directly or indirectly , of these issues. My other half has had to re-jig his CV to cover the gaps - he hasn't lied as such, just bent the truth a little, otherwise he'd never get work !!


It is true and so silly. People are afraid of what they can't see and don't understand. I hope your partner is working now. Don't blame him for bending the CV. Most people embelish theirs anyway. And when you see some of the people who talk the talk but can't walk the walk the whole thing becomes a farce. good luck to you both. Best wishes

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 7:56 pm 
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I have the same problem on my CV. 3 years in uni - no degree, basically had to keep repeating etc. and just dropped out. I say now I'm 'on sabattical' for financial reasons. But then again if i say i'm planning to return soon that would hinder job prospects too, it's a balancing act. Hope he manages to get himself sorted though.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 10:07 am 
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I have the same problem on my CV. 3 years in uni - no degree, basically had to keep repeating etc. and just dropped out. I say now I'm 'on sabattical' for financial reasons. But then again if i say i'm planning to return soon that would hinder job prospects too, it's a balancing act. Hope he manages to get himself sorted though.


Thanks Alan... Sean's also used the 'been travelling for 2 years" line (based on my travelling experiences - what posh people now call a 'gap year) and the old redundancy one...To be honest, I can't see that he ever will 'sort himself out'...he keeps taking the tablets and we cling on for dear life but long term sickness/unemployment takes it toll , both financially and emotionally. We've no friends any more that we socialise with, as there were times he just couldn't face anyone. My family feel he hasn't done enough to get work in the past (which I think could be true, he tends to stick his head in the sand and let me get on with it) and we've had to double our mortgage in the last 10 years simply to keep going, result? more debt and money worries to add to the other problems , which also makes him bad as he feels he has let me and my daughter down! Any way, enough moaning... I hope things work out for you, Alan, and that you finish your degree at some point .. it'll make it easier in the long term to get work I'm sure - although its virtually impossible to get work now, degree or not, this will change at some point - ever the optimist, well, i've had to be , haven't I? :)


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 10:33 am 
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You are a good woman Ladyblue and whatever problems you have, it seems to me that you have a pretty good family. Next time we happen to turf up at one of Richard's gigs at the same time I'm going to take you for a fucking big gin, cos I admire your optimism and think you probably could do with one. Big hugs from me.x


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 1:18 pm 
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Ladyblue: You say you have no friends anymore - that's not true, the fact that you've just bared your soul to us all here means you have at least people who will listen and offer advice/support in the small way we can.
Think that counts as friends then.
I admire the way you've stuck together through thick and thin, where some would scarper when the going was rough. I'm sure that your partner needs your strength and support more than he can say.
xx


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 4:31 pm 
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You are not moaning LadyBlue, far from it, you have my full admiration for staying so positive in difficult circumstances. When my daughter was a few months old my partner was diagnosed with a serious illness, thankfully curable, but took a terrible toll on all of us, we had to completely change our lives, move house, cities, jobs so i could be nearer my family as iwas the only one working for a long time and couldn't work, look after a baby, a sick partner and generally hold it together on my own and without my families help. We also felt very isolated at times and couldn't face friends or socialise.The main thing is you've stuck together and stayed positive, not easy.I remember feeling very angry with the world, but feeling angry was such a waste of time and very very draining. Like i said before i admire your optimism and positive attitude. Good luck to you and your family x

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 9:34 pm 
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Hope things manage to work out for you LadyBlue, and as the others said, this is a real friendly place here itself. I hope you can get something out of that at least, ad i do hope things get easier. :)

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 10:34 pm 
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so lovely to get these replies, helen, lady ruff diamond, cpaws and alan... and yay Helen, i'd love to meet up for a large gin (or anything really) at a gig some time.. i'm waiting for one that I can comfortably get to in London or the outskirts (liked the idea of Buxton but its on the first day of term)
yes, this is a lovely virtual community, you really feel like you get to know each other - what wonderful peeps you all are , thank you, its really cheered me up today (nothing to do with this , see my 'rant' about rogue traders!) you're all lovely..... xxxxxxx :D


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 1:51 pm 
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Richard Hawley wrote:
.......ive been an addict to herion,cocaine,a destructive life and fucked up behaviour at times(and crap spelling) and i have taken every and powder,pill known to man and i have scoured the deepest grimness that mankind has to offer but i have never taken a pill to"make it all go way"i just don't get it,i have been beyond grimmsvile but taking happy pills to help you just to put your fuckin socks on"?..............don't get it,i would rather have the horrors,at least those horrors are mine


I agree, I'm very suspicious of any society that needs chemicals to function! I'm of the (by now it seems) rare opinion that we ought to change the world to suit the people not the reverse. :roll:


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 3:31 pm 
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ladyblue wrote:
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I have the same problem on my CV. 3 years in uni - no degree, basically had to keep repeating etc. and just dropped out. I say now I'm 'on sabattical' for financial reasons. But then again if i say i'm planning to return soon that would hinder job prospects too, it's a balancing act. Hope he manages to get himself sorted though.


Thanks Alan... Sean's also used the 'been travelling for 2 years" line (based on my travelling experiences - what posh people now call a 'gap year) and the old redundancy one...To be honest, I can't see that he ever will 'sort himself out'...he keeps taking the tablets and we cling on for dear life but long term sickness/unemployment takes it toll , both financially and emotionally. We've no friends any more that we socialise with, as there were times he just couldn't face anyone. My family feel he hasn't done enough to get work in the past (which I think could be true, he tends to stick his head in the sand and let me get on with it) and we've had to double our mortgage in the last 10 years simply to keep going, result? more debt and money worries to add to the other problems , which also makes him bad as he feels he has let me and my daughter down! Any way, enough moaning... I hope things work out for you, Alan, and that you finish your degree at some point .. it'll make it easier in the long term to get work I'm sure - although its virtually impossible to get work now, degree or not, this will change at some point - ever the optimist, well, i've had to be , haven't I? :)


I hope you don’t mind my commenting on such a personal and heartfelt post since we haven't spoken before. But can I say that I have been through very similar experiences to your partner and you and you have my full empathy. I know how hard it is to keep going, and how painful and lonely it can feel at times. You're not alone. There are far more people suffering the things you describe than you or I realised. Maybe we all need to feel like someone hears us and feels where we are at times. I used to post a while ago as Winston Smith but I couldn't get my entry details to work so I re registered. Nothing anyone can say can make it all alright I just hope things get better for you, for all of us soon.X.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 6:59 pm 
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Nothing anyone can say can make it all alright I just hope things get better for you, for all of us soon


That was a lovely post Room 101 (hmmmmm think I detect a connection with 1984 here..) and I didn't mind at all, feel free to comment anytime - its how we get to 'know' one another ! Sorry to hear that you've been through similar stuff, but like you say its surprising how many of us have !! It was lovely to get such a positive response from so many people and must admit it cheered me up !! thanks xxx :)


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 8:34 pm 
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ladyblue wrote:
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Nothing anyone can say can make it all alright I just hope things get better for you, for all of us soon


That was a lovely post Room 101 (hmmmmm think I detect a connection with 1984 here..) and I didn't mind at all, feel free to comment anytime - its how we get to 'know' one another ! Sorry to hear that you've been through similar stuff, but like you say its surprising how many of us have !! It was lovely to get such a positive response from so many people and must admit it cheered me up !! thanks xxx :)


Thankyou, and your Welcome nice to meet you.


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