Richard Hawley

Hi All,

So I'm stuck in again this weekend, and wanted to rant about being ill.. and I was also wondering if anyone else recognised these sort of symptoms, because I'm properly worried (!)

So nearly four weeks ago I began to feel very ill in work, and the following day went to the docs, who told me i had tonsillitis. I had the usual symptoms of bad headache, neckache, swollen white covered tonsils. i took antibiotics for this, and the swelling of the tonsils generally cleared up.

However, for the past couple of weeks, I still haven't felt right. Firstly, my right tonsil returned to being very sore and swollen. This has only just (seemingly) begun to subside last weekend., however, my throat still looks quite red, and is particularly sore when I wake up.

My real concern is my neck, which is still in agony on one side, the same one the swollen tonsil was on, although over the past few days has started to feel like it's in both. There is one particular swelling just behind and between my ear lobe/jaw, which i presume is a gland, which is causing me a lot of worry. The pain seems to travel down into my neck muscles and the back of my neck, more recently my shoulders, and seems to radiate around on both sides. my neck doesn't look swollen particularly when i look in the mirror and the swollen bit doesn't look big, but it feels it.

I've been to a number of doctors/nurses, all of whom don't seem overly concerned. The nurse I saw yesterday told me that my neck glands aren't up, and that the lump I was referring to was part of my jaw muscles... (but if that was the case, why would one side be bigger than the other, sore, and seemingly causing pain mostly down the same side of my neck?) It is more pronounced if i open my mouth, it's easily visible then. she also checked my ears, she said they were fine, and that sometimes these ilnesses can take a while to leave your system.

I'm just really worried it's something bad now because it's been so long, I don't seem to have any energy, I've been back in work for 3 weeks, but I just don't feel my old self at all, all I want to do is sit there and stare into space. Anyone ever had anything like this? I thought it might be glandular fever, I read on the net that the symptoms for that can be anything from mild to severe, but I just don't know what to think anymore. I've hardly been out the house only to go to work for nearly a month, and I'm properly depressed. I'm only 24, what's the matter with me???

*sorry for the self pity by the way.. I'm taking solace in listenin to the Hawley collection, and watchin back to back Seinfeld box sets... just wanted to get all that off my chest, and if anyone does have any tips, i'd appreciate it. *

top tip=don't read the internet for symptoms or you'll convince yourself you've got black death, swine fever and bird flu rolled into one. hope you feel better soon.

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don't strive for happiness, it'll make you miserable. just be content.

Well you've obviously had a virus of some sort, hence the antibiotics.....

Just take it easy - your body is still recovering - early nights, good food, plenty of fluid, and take zinc tablets to boost your immune system.

It'll take time but you'll soon feel better - you are a human being and your body needs time to recover - antibiotics aren't miracle drugs - you can't expect to be partying at all hours just yet............

Hang in there and let your body recover at its own pace.

And as mph says - don't look on the internet!

woke up the other night with terrible pins and needles in my right arm and leg. it's gone into both my legs now, arm seems to have gone away a bit. keep getting a sharp pain in the stomach too. read things that say glandular fever can cause all these things, but it's been over 4 weeks of various things now, n me neck is still swollen n sore. ended up sittin in the car cryin on the way to work this mornin (pathetic i know) cos i'm so worried and depressed. i want my old life back now.

Well if its that bad after so long perhaps you should go back and see your own GP again to let him know exactly how rough you have been feeling? It may put your mind at rest at least................. and worrying won't help anything!

Get well soon!

i'm going tomorrow, maybe it is my mind running riot, i heard anxiety can bring certain things on. i just don't know what to think. cheers 4 the support baroness

Anxiety wont help .........................good idea to go back to your GP..........................Good luck and hope you feel better soon merseybeatle...........

My sister had the same scenario ..... doctor kept saying it was tonsillitis, and she was pumped full of antibiotics but with no effect. Eventually she had a blood test, which confirmed glandular fever. Don't want to alarm you, but it took her about a year to get back to full strength.

Deffo go back to the doctor and ask for some more tests.

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"Fasten your seat belts. It's going to be a bumpy night."

i did that with chest pains i was getting and i nearly scared myself silly,i found out it was a bruise i had"sustained"whilst pissed......i hope you get well soon

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now,then!

Yes the internet got me really worried....................I had this red patch on my leg that seemed to be getting bigger and bigger!!! ..............after many a sleepless night and hours with a magnifying glass!!................. I finally discovered it was an insect bite!!!.....................all it needed was some good old antisceptic cream!!!...................

Been thinking about you over the weekend. How's it going? Are you feeling any better?

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"Fasten your seat belts. It's going to be a bumpy night."

Yes Merseybeatle.............hope all went well with the doctor.....

Hi all,

Thanks for the concern all, thought I'd give you an update. I've now seen four doctors, three nurses, one ENT specialist, all of whom have said there's nothing they can find to worry about and it's probably a virus. But it's been eight weeks now, so I'm mega concerned.

None of the doctors have been able to tell me what the slightly swollen bit is below my ear/behind my jaw, most of them couldn't even find it. The ENT felt it and said it was probably the *insert medical term for something vaguely normal here* but he'd arrange a scan to "put my mind at rest". he also said "you can relax now". there is something similar on the other side, but the right is a bit bigger.

I've pretty much convinced myself I'm gonna die, so I'm finding it quite hard to get out of that mindset. My neck is still aching, it comes and goes and moves around from side to side, also get aching under my arms. My doc reckons it might be some sort of anxiety/depression related thing. I just dunno what to think to be honest, I have been in a really bad mental state since I first got ill, but I wouldn't have thought specific, constant pain could be psychosomatic; but then I'm not a doctor. I made the mistake weeks ago of goin on the net looking for what it could be so I've started analysing every little thing now, like bruises I can't explain mean I've got Leukemia, this slightly swollen thing means Lymphoma. Also made the big mistake of reading other peoples stories of how they were misdiagnosed with things until it was too late.

Hi Merseybeatle

Easier said than done but you really need to stop worrying for a bit.

Yes things can get missed and mis diagnosed but by four doctors, three nurses and a specialist???? (I'm not trivialising your condition at all but I hate the thought of you sitting worrying about your health.)

You are probably less at risk of anything horrible simply because you've had whatever it is that's making you feel ill investigated early - you've done the sensible thing and you have something that can't be defined, so it's obviously not anything awful.

Lumps and bumps are scary but they are also easy things for doctors to examine and make decisions about - and you've had a scan, so that would have picked anything nasty up.

Sometimes there are no explanations for things that make us feel ill - that's just how it is. I'm sure if it was anything horrible they would have sorted it by now.

You're probably tired 'cos you're worried, then that affects your rest and sleep pattern, then you feel worse....it's hard but try giving yourself a good talking to and breaking into the circle and telling yourself you'll put this a bit further to the back of your mind for a few days, then do something to take your mind off it.

It's hard to give you reassurance but I really hope that you soon feel better and that you cheer up xxxx

To echo what Maggie has said & to add a bit.............

A few years ago I was convinced I was dying. I lost all of the feeling down the left hand side of my body. My stomach was constantly sore & I would occasionally throw up blood. I was permanently exhausted & could sleep 23 hours a day with no problem. I was extremely aware of any little change in my body, all sorts of lumps & bumps, & convinced myself that it was terminal. And then the panic attacks started.....................

I had dozens of blood tests, a brain scan, & went to the doctors on at least a weekly basis. Fer fucks sake, I knew I was terminally ill, why couldn't these people see it?

What I actually had was very common indeed - it is called Health Anxiety and it often, but not always, goes hand in hand with depression. To the sufferer it is very real, and absolutely terrifying. It dominates your every waking moment, and you can't remember the last time you felt well. It is completely draining and exhausting. It was the best part of a year before I was diagnosed with depression & health anxiety. It took that long because firstly, as with you, they have to discount anything being physically wrong first, and secondly because I have never, at any point, felt "depressed", in the sense of being down & tearful. It doesn't happen like that, and people who do feel that way are rarely clinically depressed.

The good news is that it is very treatable in lots of different ways. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is now widely recognised as being the best, quickest, cheapest way to a complete recovery, but I wouldn't completely rule out the SSRI family of anti depressants - they can be a short term sticking plaster & get you to the point where your equilibrium is restored & you can begin to get better.

Of course, this may not relate to you at all, but I am sharing the experience just in case you recognise anything in it & it helps. Net Doctor & the like is a dreadful thing for somebody in your situation, but I urge you to Google health anxiety & see what you come up with.

One bit of advice I would give to anybody in that situation is DO NOT SELF MEDICATE. Particularly alcohol, which is a depressant. A couple of years back I self medicated wildly, with alcohol & other stuff, & ended up in a pretty bad way as a result. It doesn't work.

Take good care, man. Feel free to drop me a PM if you need to get stuff off your chest. But I tell you now, you WILL be OK.

Nick x

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Jesus died for somebody's sins, but not mine
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