Richard Hawley

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 12:28 pm 
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thanks for that Clive,i took him to the Elbow shows and he as always behaved like a gent...........i am finding life very very hard at the moment,i try to keep busy but i keep getting bleaked out by it all,so so fucking sad.But thanks for sharing that with us mate much appreciated,i have heard so many lovely stories about Tim over the last week i could write a book

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 12:34 pm 
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Why DON'T you write a book? It doesn't have to be professionally produced, but you can put together all those stories and memories - I think that would be a lovely thing for Tim's family to have, especially his daughter who will have that to read when she's old enough to appreciate it? :D

Just a thought, forgive me if I'm out of line! :wink:


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 2:06 pm 
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Having read the posts on here a few days ago I have found myself thinking about this quite a lot. I lost a friend some years ago very suddenley at the age of 31 and it had a big effect on me at the time. That same year, I lost my 85 year old gran who I was very close to (more like a mother) having lived with her for many years, however the emotions were so different. Obviously I was very upset about my gran, however the feelings I had about my friends death were totally different - an overwhelming sadness for them more than anything and all the years and things in life that they will now not experience. The other more selfish emotion is the stark realisation of your own mortality and vulnerability - I experienced quite a lot of anxiety and panic about myself and others close to me fearing that I/them might also die suddenly too. Over time that fades of course, but you are always left with the feeling of sadness for the person that is lost, and those left behind. My sympathies go to you Richard and all those affected by this tragedy. Take comfort in each other.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 4:00 pm 
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Richard Hawley wrote:
i am finding life very very hard at the moment,i try to keep busy but i keep getting bleaked out by it all,so so fucking sad.


I privately told you about my situation, which I won't repeat. But I have followed the tributes people have made to your friend and it is desperately sad.

Grief makes it hard to sleep but you are so tired. In my bleakest times, in the wee small hours and all that, I wrote in a notebook exactly how I was feeling – mad, scary, irrational thoughts and all – never reading what I'd written the time before, until I felt better enough not to have to write any more. Then I hid it in a box in my loft.

I come across it every now and again when I'm having a clear out, but I've never read it. And one of these days, I'll bin it, maybe today, eh.

Never been one for diaries, but the process of putting my worst fears down on paper was really helpful for me – councillors tell you to write letters to people and then throw them away but my friend would've just thought that was poncy shit and laughed at me, so this sufficed.

It's one of those times where people say things to you that you think are clichéd, like "Time is a great healer." But is one of the truest things anyone has ever said to me. It's only the passage of time, feeling a bit better each day and sometimes not, that gets you to a time where you don't wake up with dread in your heart.

So sorry for you darling and all your friends and his family. Hope the bleakness will start to lift soon. xxx


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 8:20 pm 
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Oh that was so touching Helen and you are so right - although it may not feel like it at the moment the only certainty is that time heals all...........x

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 3:30 am 
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It is indeed very true that writing one's thoughts down at these times is more helpful than you'd think. I find it so anyway. You can say absolutely anything, things you can't say to someone else. It gets it out & helps you to make sense of all the feelings. Knowing it's just between you and the paper makes it easier. Take care my friend x

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 8:55 pm 
Tomorrow is Tim's service and cremation....

Im sure it will be a beautifull service with many many people saying goodbye to a lovely man.

Thoughts going out to his family and friends on this very difficult and sad day.

God Bless Tim x


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 9:05 pm 
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we are all dreading it.I miss him like hell.I took this photo in his old flat the day after he got back from his first tour of America,he was very excited about his new guitar he is playing here.We were it has to be said......rather merry


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 10:14 pm 
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I'm very sorry to hear about your friend Richard. Had been meaning to post a message for the last few days but didn't know what to say really. At the risk of sounding trite I do hope you start to feel better soon. You have my heartfelt sympathy.

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 10:32 pm 
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My thoughts will be with you all tomorrow x

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 10:33 pm 
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Sorry to hear of this loss:(

I'm sure though with a great friend like you, his memory will live on forever, just think of all the stories you can tell the young un when she grows up 8)


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2010 12:20 pm 
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This is so sad. I'm really sorry to hear this tragic news. I find it very hard to comprehend the death of young talented people. I lost my sister when she was 18 and my wife last year who was 35. I have an understanding of your loss, and know how painful it is. I hope writing on here helps you. I know that during the last few days of my wife's' life and after her death it felt helpful to write some things down here and also the kind words that came from yourself and other folks.

Take care Richard, I hope today goes as well as it can.

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 Post subject: tim mccall
PostPosted: Wed Mar 03, 2010 8:38 pm 
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I had the pleasure of meeting tim in my pub. What a nice lad and what devastating news it was to hear of his untimely depature. My condolences go out to all his family. His smiling face and cycling chat will be missed. r.i.p tim


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 6:27 pm 
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Lovely Tribute Richard, even though i never met Tim, i always heard good things about him, the sax player in my band used to go boozing with him regularly, and one of my mates used to work with him on the post too. i was saddened when i heard what happened,my thoughts go out to his family. and i hope things get easier for you.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 6:54 pm 
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beautiful tribute richard,
very sad to hear of your loss :(

my thoughts and love also go out to his family

x

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